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lyrics

Am I afraid? They say I look lonely, a permanent face painted on me. Always struggling in my decay. Did I do something wrong? Or was it all my fault that I've been put down all my life, and lost all hope? Dont tell me again how these hardships we face are all for the best. It has to be this way.

I woke up from a dream, I’m never where I want to be, and when I look in the mirror I'm not proud of what I see. Could never find any comfort in my own skin, standing on this ledge with all my selfish intentions.

So sick of hearing my heart beat.
Contentment comes with a sacrifice I'm not willing to make. Cause there's this part of me that hates to feel me smiling. Am I too far gone? With all the self doubt, I'm just so worried.

Are you listening to my words,
Am I wasting air?
It's not as simple as you made it out to be, I panic and panic, poor melancholy me.

I’m only an image of what I want to be, so why did I grow up to hate what I see? Just know now if I could some how I'd trade it all, trade it all.

Everyday, it's all so routine, to live with all the things I fucking hate about me. Numb for so long, I'm better off gone. So scared to die, yet it's all I really want.
Do you feel the shame in these words that ring true? "You never did all the things you really wanted to do."
Regret every choice I've made up to this point, it's never been an option, I can't do anything right.
useless to ask what this life is all for, Cause if we found out the answers, we'd still want more.

I just wish I had something to live for.

credits

from Letters To Our Former Selves, released March 8, 2019

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